One Year Ago Today... I'm Very Sad

One year ago today my beloved dog Zoe died. You can see her pictures in my topper and in my sidebar. She was my faithful companion for over 14 years. She helped me through many rough times in my life. Like when we first got her. My daughter Michele didn't like Florida and decided she wanted to live with her dad in Maryland. Steve was working double shifts at a factory at the time and I needed some company and protection. So one day while Michele was visiting us she started calling places to find me a dog. Finally she found a place that was about 1/2 hour's drive from us that actually had puppies. We'd been in Florida for almost a year by that time and had never seen an armadillo until that night. We'll all remember that! :) The nice lady brought a little white ball of fur out and said "This is the only puppy we have left." She was about 7 months old and rode the whole way back on Michele's shoulder under her hair.
Then there were the years when my back was injured. For four years I suffered. But the first year was the worst. I was hurt at work and it took almost 5 months before they finally approved the surgery that would almost completely heal me. But the last 3 months before that surgery were almost unbearable. I couldn't sit or stand for very long and I wound up having to lay on my bed on my left side for those 3 months with a pillow between my legs. I couldn't even lift my head or hold a magazine or a book. Every day Zoe would come up on the bed and lay with her back against mine. And every time she would somehow know just the spot that was hurting the most. It never failed!
When the time finally came for her to go, it was sudden and unexpected. One day she simply stopped eating. The vet gave us medicine, but she couldn't keep it down. The second night she was fighting death. Steve and I took her to the front yard where she wanted to go and just stood back a few feet and held each other while we watched her. She'd look like she was going to finally let go and then she'd hear a noise or a car would go by and then she'd take another breath. We finally brought her in the house where I made a little bed for us on the floor and laid with her all night long just encouraging her that it was okay for her to go. But she was such a faithful companion she didn't want to leave us.
As dawn broke, she wanted to go to the back yard. I took her out there and sat down in a lawn chair. We watched the birds wake up and begin to sing. We watched the sun come over the condo building next door. We watched the world come alive. I watched the clock. As soon as the vet's office was opened I made the call. I had prayed for years that I wouldn't have to do it. But Zoe needed us to make that decision for her. When the time came I totally lost it. I pity anyone in that building because I couldn't help myself. It was like I'd lost a child.
In the year that has passed, it's been lonely and I've missed her terribly. I know she's up in heaven with Michele's Cara, George and Skipper. She's also with my Brownie from when I was a young girl. She's in doggy heaven and having a blast chasing Frisbees and tennis balls and telling the other doggies to behave. :)
Now we have Baxter. He is so very different from Zoe! But I occasionally will call him Zoe. He doesn't mind. Somehow he knows it's okay. Today he knew I needed special attention and he's given it to me. I've been busy getting ready for the garage sale tomorrow. That's been good. I've had a couple of crying spells, but I'm okay. But I miss my Zoe terribly. Farewell my faithful companion! I look forward to seeing you again someday in heaven where the Bible says the lion and the lamb will lay down together. What a glorious time that will be!